Dear… world,
If you have called, texted, emailed, messaged, or otherwise tried to get a hold of me in the last month, I am not ignoring you. I didn’t even lose my phone. It’s just that I have a one-year old, and I have been busy teaching her not to
grab Logan’s tail
pinch her fingers in the piano cover
unroll all the toilet paper
fall and hit her head on the bed frame (elliptical, kitchen chair, book shelf, etc.)
lick the floor
stick food up her nose
poke the dogs’ eyes
open the DVD tray on the computer
stick her hands in the dogs’ water bowls
put the end of the phone charger in her mouth
eat her own poop (yes, that actually happened)
feed the dogs onions or grapes
And I have been busy teaching her to…
laugh at silliness
eat
crawl
walk
love
live
drink from a cup
pet the dogs nicely
climb
sign
play on the piano
watch movies
make blanket forts
swim
read books
enjoy food and cooking
play fetch with the dogs
pick up dirty clothes
put things away
SO, I will get back to you— during nap time. And if nap time doesn’t happen, my response may come the next day. If it doesn’t come the next day, you might want to send your message again. It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that my response doesn’t prevent your
diaper rash
hunger pangs
electrocution
attack by angered dogs
drowning
pinched fingers
mental underdevelopment
social underdevelopment
spiritual underdevelopment
physical underdevelopment
choking
suffocating
and the like.
Love,
Denise (A.k.a. Mommy-still-in-training)
Career of Choice 