Hopeless Marriage: A Book Review

At some point in our lives, “Hopeless Marriage” may as well be splashed across an arrow-shaped neon sign pointing right over each of our homes.

It happens to just about every marriage because marriage. is. hard.

Judy Bodmer and I have a lot in common, strangely enough. We’re both recovering Registered Dietitians-to-be. We’re both passionate about helping other couples stay married because we’ve both struggled in our marriages with emotional affairs (first time I’ve ever written that out loud!). The difference is that Judy has actually written the book to do it! And it’s a good one. I’d love to share it with you.

When Love DIes

When Love Dies: How to Save a Hopeless Marriage methodically explores all of the reasons why we think we should leave our spouse and speaks truth into those feelings. These feelings are so universally experienced that I believe there is not a wife out there who would not benefit from reading through her journey. Judy’s honest sharing of her experience falling out of love with her husband, but choosing to stay offers a roadmap of hope for every woman wrestling over the divorce question in her mind.

Each chapter sets up the struggle (for example, I can’t forgive or forget; I had so many dreams; We can’t talk, etc.), succinctly defines the problem, offers experiences and potential solutions, and finally ends with a challenge. (We can’t talk ends with the challenge- Take your weakest communication point (listening, interrupting, letting your motor run, etc.) and work on improving it this week.) Each challenge offers the reader the opportunity to take responsibility for their marriage and a sense of possibility for real change.

I don’t want to pretend, naively, that there are no reasons for divorce. However, in the absence of abuse and infidelity, Bodmer offers so many reasons for holding on to the committment that you’ve made and rediscovering the best friend that you married. (If anyone wants to borrow my copy, let me know- I’ll even ship it to you!)

Photo credit: Photography by Jewels, 2006

Photo credit: Photography by Jewels, 2006

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One thought on “Hopeless Marriage: A Book Review

  1. Sounds like another good book. My book club just read “Real Marriage” by Mark Driscoll – another interesting book on marriage (and not at all what I had been expecting). None of us should live with blinders on imagining that problems can’t or won’t arrive, instead we should look for the work we need to do to make our marriages better. Thanks for the recommendation.

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